![]() The fact that he tries to have a serious relationship with Devi, who he knows is emotionally a wreck, is only more proof that he has no clue how to have a healthy relationship.īen needs serious hardcore therapy, years of it, before he is fit to have real relationships with real humans, even just as friends. His feelings towards girlfriends in general seems to be more of a status thing, and he's desperate to receive love, but doesn't know how to give it or choose good partners. His parents are unusually benign for neglectful parents, but they don't love him. I get the vibe that Ben is like I was at his age: he does not understand what love (the unconditional kind, that you can have for family, friends, and partners, the glue that binds the universe etc) is at all, because he has never experienced it. He's wallowing in incel territory now.ĭid he love Devi? Yes, he was more vulnerable with her than anyone else, possibly in his life, but that's not saying too much for Ben. ![]() This show and these writers must have blinders on or be out of their minds that they don't spot the toxic ideas about relationships that their currently storyline highlights: be a horrible person, make somebody's life miserable, but if your twisted obsession with them makes you sad, then you deserve them and they need to date you (and have sex with you).Ī while back, there was a discussion that Ben needed to be called out for having "nice guy" syndrome, but with Season 3, it has gotten even worse than that. ".you have to be an object for this guy to use because he's sad," that is incredibly disturbing rhetoric. I'll be willing to further unpack Ben's past "trauma" when the show and anybody that brings up his "trauma" are willing to discuss that the outward behavior and consequences of his "trauma" have been continual toxic relationships, bullying, and racist, misogynistic insults that have caused serious harm onto others, that Ben has not acknowledged, let alone apologized for. People actually bring up Ben's "trauma"!? Poor parenting leading him to grow up with "affluenza" seems to be a distraction that is brought out mostly to distract from the bullying and trauma that Devi is literally trying to resolve in therapy. When people use Ben's traumatic past as a defense for why he should end up with Devi. The only person I feel bad for in this situation is Fab. She immediately regretted it and backed off. What Aneesa did seemed like a desperate, fumbling grasp at literally any love or comfort at a time when she was extremely vulnerable. But I don't really know if "cheating" is the right word, that implies a desire for someone else and then a decision to value that desire over your partner's feelings. What Aneesa did was wrong, bad decision-making. But that doesn't equate to "throw away all your boundaries and self-respect, you have to be an object for this guy to use because he's sad," that is incredibly disturbing rhetoric. Yes, you can have sympathy for trauma victims, even when their behavior is toxic. But it's his responsibility to deal with that shit, and it really bothers me when people use Ben's traumatic past as a defense for why he should end up with Devi. He's a minor and his upbringing seriously damaged him. My poor husband, constantly having to hit pause while I yell at the TV.īen's super low emotional maturity and incredibly toxic understanding of relationships are not his fault, at all. Mod posts Serious posts Megathread Breaking news Unfilter Please use spoiler tags to hide spoilers.He was straight-up gaslighting her. Tags to use: Use a post tag to designate your post as a serious, on-topic-only thread. If you think your post has disappeared, see spam or an inappropriate post, please do not hesitate to contact the mods, we're happy to help. Spam, machine-generated content, and karma farming are not permitted. more >ĭo not post harmful misinformation. more >Ĭomment replies consisting solely of images will be removed. Mods reserve the right to remove content or restrict users' posting privileges as necessary if it is deemed detrimental to the subreddit or to the experience of others. Soliciting money, goods, services, or favours is not allowed. tagged posts are off-limits to jokes or irrelevant replies. more >ĪskReddit is not your soapbox, personal army, or advertising platform. Posting, or seeking, any identifying personal information, real or fake, will result in a ban without a prior warning. more >ĪskReddit is for open-ended discussion questions. ![]() more >Īny post asking for advice should be generic and not specific to your situation alone. Your thoughts/responses to the question can go in the comments section. The title may contain two, short, necessary context sentences. You must post a clear and direct question in the title.
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